A Hole in The Wall
by SE-Saber
Summary: Ulap gets blown away...to Aperture Science Incorporated? Will he survive? Will he escape? Will he wet his pants like most grunts would? HaloPortal crossover.Please R&R Rated T just in case. Please R&R.
1. There's a Hole in The Sky

Opening notes: This is my second story, and personally I think it's retarded. Save yourself some pain and stop reading now. Seriously.

Ulap awoke with a start. He slowly remembered where he was. He was on one of the sacred Halo rings.

Groaning, he got up and looked around. There was no other (living) Covenant in sight.

He started to remember what had happened to him and his squad.

It was the Demon! He came here and killed everyone!

Ulap had run.

He looked upon the horizon and saw the looming of that human ship, _The Pillar of Autumn_.

He shivered at the thought of going in.

But wait! There was a banshee flying to the ship!

That person must be stupid!

Uggghhh. He decided to not signal the banshee in case it was a Sangheili. It would hurt him for what happened to his squad.

That's right! His squad! His gun!

Ulap glanced to where his gun had been.

Wait…HAD BEEN???

He frantically searched around and saw parts lying in a black scorch mark.

No, no, no! Not his gun! Not again! The superiors would hurt him bad!

Ulap looked up…there was no one around.

Well, he thought, there _were _no superiors!

That's a spot of luck, he thought.

He scavenged the remains of his squad and found some methane packs, still intact.

He breathed a sigh of relief. There were three. That would be enough for a long time.

He decided to head for the nearest vegetation to the South. He would hide from the Demon there.

He walked for only a few miles when he reached it.

He took a quick rest and then continued.

After a while he stumbled across a ghost.

What is this thing doing unattended? He thought to himself, There are plenty of Covenant on Halo.

After much thought he thought he should take the ghost back to the ship. Maybe he could find more methane there.

The ghost engine hummed as Ulap sped it towards the _Pillar Of Autumn_.

Upon arriving, he saw flood carcasses strewn everywhere.

Running Time! He thought. He wanted to be nowhere _near_ the flood with their long, sharp, piercing tentacles.

He abruptly turned the ghost around and sped back to denser foliage.

A dark shaped flicked past the sun and Ulap realized that it was one of the human's star ships.

It was coming straight for him! GUN IT! His brain screamed at him.

But the ship passed straight above him.

It started to get really warm, really fast.

He turned around and saw… blackness.

What's going on? The ghost was nowhere to be seen. The methane packs were gone.

NOOOO!! Not the methane packs!

But there was something going on. There was a huge blackness that had swallowed him.

In the blackness, he saw glimpses of a huge, brown being with a drill for an arm and Humans coated in gray/silver armor with a red visor.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Was what Ulap wanted to say, but nothing came out. Finally the small images stopped on a blank room.

The image got closer, and closer, and AHHHHHHH!!!! It hit him.

A creepy female voice called out to him. "Welcome to the Aperture Science Incorporated. My name is GLaDOS. You have been selected to participate in the testing. Please enter this door to receive your Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device."

Her voice was eerie; it was changing pitch and stressing odd syllables. It was scaring Ulap.

Then again, what didn't?

Ulap looked underneath him. There was a middle-aged female human wearing an orange suit. She was crushed beneath him. There was a strange bed nearby.

Ulap's final thought before passing out was: What _is _this place?

Final notes: If you were stupid enough to read my first fanfic, A Sangheili's Lament You'll notice that Ulap is in it. How he got on Halo, I'll explain in Sangheili's Lament If I feel like continuing it. Please review! I will reward you in subtle ways…or I'll just review your stories.


	2. Trhough which things canfly

Opening Notes: Hey, sorry for the wait, miniscule amount of people who care. Things where I live have been _pretty_ crazy.

When Ulap awoke, he was still in the bleak, white room.

"Why did you pass out?" Inquired the wall.

Ulap didn't answer.

"Alright talking wall-thing, I want some answers!" He shrieked.

"Talking-wall thing? You insult me you vile, little backstabbing, gas-sucking runt! I am a super computer capable of doing more math in a nano-second than you could do in a week! I was designed and programmed to run this testing facility. I am NOT a talking wall!"

"You can't yell at me!" Screeched Ulap, "I am a Unggoy fourth class gunner!"

"Wait…Unggoy? Are you a Combine?"

"No! Who the _hell_ is the Combine?"

"The evilest aliens ever! They enslaved Earth and it was all those idiots's fault from Black Mesa. They created a hole from which the Combine poured from." Said GLaDOS, voice rising with anger.

"Wait, what's Earth?" Ulap asked.

"At least now I know you aren't Combine; gas-sucker."

"What's Earth?" Ulap asked again.

An audible sigh escaped the wall. "Earth is the human's home planet, Stupid."

"Really?" Ulap had been somehow…relocated to the human's home planet! Oooh! If he could escape he would tell the Prophets where it was…and he would be rewarded! No more getting beat up by the other Covenant! He must do whatever it takes to get out of here. If it means being cooperative…oh well. The Covenant would be back to glass the planet anyway. He would be on the Capital ship, as he stood next to the Prophets and Ulap would laugh…

"Ummmm Hello?"

"Oh…hmmm. What?"

"Are you awake?" Asked the wall.

"Um…yes. I am awake." Said Ulap, still thinking of a plan to get the prophets attention. "How do you know I breathe gas? And how do you know the Covenant's language?"

"As for knowing you breath gas, I can tell because this room has a gas filter. It's clogged up currently."

"I see."

"No you don't."

"Correct."

"But wait," The wall began, "what do mean Covenant's language. You're speaking English."

Slightly confused, Ulap decided to ignore that fact. "How do I get out of here?" Asked Ulap.

"Easy, with the help of the ASPC Portal gun!"

"Portal gun?"

"Here, try it."

Something thumped into Ulap's back. He turned around and there was a white, somewhat cylindrical weapon with pointy things.

"Is this it?"

"Yes, and if you don't mind I will teach you how to use it. Please step through this door."

Ulap didn't mind. Sooner or later, Earth would be but glass.

Final Notes: If you hadn't noticed now, this story does not follow Portal exactly. Far from it, really. Oh, E.F; I know it's childish, grunts spark childish writing. PLEASE, PLEASE, review!


	3. Ulap gets smart

Opening notes: 'Nother chapter, all right! I'm on a roll!

Ulap picked up the device.

"Good!" Chimed the wall. "Pease walk through this door."

Ulap cooperated and entered a small, bleak, white room.

"To operate the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, squeeze the trigger to launch a yellow Portal. Pull the trigger again to launch a blue portal. Once both portals have been fired, you may walk through either one to come out the other."

"COOL!!!" Said Ulap, alight with glee.

Accidentally pulling the trigger twice, two portals flew out of the ASHP and landed on a wall, and directly below the wall.

Staring at what he had created, Ulap grinned. He ran towards them, ignoring GLaDOS's warnings.

He jumped in the one on the floor and came out from the one on the wall.

Ulap saw himself in the floor portal but was coming out of the wall portal. Then he kept falling. And falling. And falling. And falling.

He screamed very loudly and passed out, still falling.

He was awakend from a lovley dream about flying.

"Shoot another portal, stupid." Said the wall, voice dripping with annoyance.

He shot another portal at the wall oppisite of him and came sliding out of it. He slid so far, that he fell back in the other portal again.

This time he did not slide. Instead, he took off his methane mask, and vomited.

"Watch out for that momentum there," Said the wall, delighting in his suffering.

"Uhhhhhhhh…" Was Ulap's response. "Do you have any food?" he asked the wall.

"Ooooh!" Said the wall, "That reminds me! What is your favorite kind of cake?"

"What's cake?" Asked Ulap.

"Carrot then? Alright."

Ulap walked through another door then a large thing coated with spikes decended on Ulap. There was also a rectangular pit running down the middle of the room.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!"

He panicked and forgot the power of the ASHP, and the spikes reached him, crushing him to a pulp.

A heartbeat sounded. As it flatened out Ulap saw a light. Then He walked out of the same door he had walked out of seconds ago.

"What Happened?" He said.

The spikes on the falling wall fell again.

He rememberd the ASHP.

He shot a portal arcoss the room to the other side, and one underneath him. He fell and came out the other side and watched as the falling-spike-celing thing crached to the floor with a resounding, "BANG!"

He laughed at the celing then walked out through the door.

GLaDOS taught Ulap the aspects of the ASHP and showed him side affects if he placed portals wrong. He started to get the hang of it.

Ulap walked through yet another door and encountered a mystery. The exit door was raised way up high and its walls, celing and floor were all portal resistant. The only thing else in the room in the middle.

He quickly portaled up on top of the platform and tried to think of a way to get to the door. If he tried to jump, he would never make it. Then whoever cleaned this place would be very angry.

But if he shot a portal down…and then one right beside it as he fell…yes! He figured it out!

Ulap cleared the current portals and shot one next to the platform containing the exit.

He jumped and shot a portal beneath him. He fell through and came straight up out of the other portal flying at an enourmous speed.

"WHHHHEEEEEE!!!!!" Was what Ulap first said but the n he hit his head on the celing and fell on the exit platform.

"Ouch." He walked through the exit door thinking, 'How much more do I have to go through and ignored the wall's warnings.

Final Notes: Needing of the suggestions. May start a forum soon, even though no one will visit it!


	4. Guns and well methane

Opening Notes: Whoo! LOOOOONNG holiday break there. Sorry about the wait, minimal people who care!

Ulap no longer trusted the wall; it had lied. He had entered a test chamber just like any other, but the wall said it was impossible, and that Aa-pa-chure science was sorry for the inconvenience. Ulap had believed the wall and sat there and did nothing. Well he twiddled what we would call "thumbs" and whistled an old Covenant battle tune.

After a half-hour or so, the wall admitted it was possible and told "Test subject here" to get moving before she released nur-o toxins into the room. Ulap figured it out in a minute or two, and was on his way to the next chamber.

Ulap figure out a couple more test chambers but the one he was on something went wrong.

"COUGH! HACK!! HACK!! AHHHHKKKKK"

"Now what is it," Asked the wall. "Having a hairball?"

"Need…HACCCCCK…methane…HACCCKKKKKK"

"No need to be so dramatic! You could have asked politely _without_ all that irritating noise you are making."

"HAKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" Was Ulap's only response.

"Fine. Here is three days worth methane compressed into this one-foot tank."

The above-mentioned tank hit Ulap in the back. Seconds before his lungs filled with oxygen, he attached the tank.

"Whoo. That's better," He said.

"On with the testing then?" Inquired the wall.

"Yep."

"Then get in the elevator before I put you there."

Ulap did as he was told.

As the door opened Ulap heard the wall's voice greeting him.

"This next testing chamber contains sentries donated to Aperture. They don't _want_ to kill you; but they will because they are very simple."

"They'll kill me?"

"Of course! They're nice enough to do some of my work for me. Oops. You didn't hear that did you? No you didn't. Mention it and I will kill you."

"…"

"On with the testing then? Alright."

Ulap, now rather frightened, stood there and looked at the many sentries. They looked at first glance, harmless.

His small, neglected brain thought of an ingenious brain thought of a plan. He would run straight through them to the nearest safety he took a couple of steps and the first sentry saw him. Panels popped out of the sides and they flashed.

An enormous, ripping pain tore through Ulap's body. Despite it, he rolled back to safety.

"Take it like a man!" The wall jeered.

Ulap no longer only distrusted the wall. He _hated_ it.

Final Notes: How was it? I'm a little under-practiced.


	5. Test Chamber Difficulties

Opening Notes: Kind of a short chapter really. And now that I think about it, it does not relate at _all_ to portal. (The order of the test chambers actually.)

The pain in Ulap did not recede. He could not stop it.

"UHHHHH!"

"You can always just knock them down." Said the wall, not considering Ulap's pain.

But then, as Ulap could take no more, the pain ebbed, then died. Panting Ulap regained his feet.

"Stupid sentry!" Screeched Ulap, kicking the sentry down.

Projectiles flew as the turret, propelled by it's firing, raced across the floor and eventually knocked another sentry down. A high-pitched, voice chimed: "Critical error."

Ulap walked cautiously across the chamber. He turned a corner and saw a sentry beam on the wall. The beam had come from a platform with a few stairs. Exposing himself for a split second, he shot a portal next to the sentry and one on the wall next to him.

"Nap time." The sentry chimed.

Ulap leaped through the portal on the wall and came out next to the sentry. Ulap saw the panels detach, and rolled behind the sentry. He quickly kicked it down the stairs and laughed as projectiles pinged uselessly against the floor and ceiling.

He crept into the next room and saw two cubes supporting a wall panel. He carefully pried one loose and the panel shuddered, but held. He jumped behind the panel. He turned around and saw the entire wall coated with the message, 'THE CAKE IS A LIE, THE CAKE IS A LIE!' He turned around and went back.

After a couple of rooms and a couple of knocked down sentries, he came into an area with lots of cubes. Sentries were placed in an order so that he could not advance and not get shot. He sprinted to the area with the cubes. After stacking a few cubes, Ulap shot a portal above a sentry. He then shot a portal below his stack of cubes, and laughed yet again as they crushed the sentry he repeated the process again and advanced to the elevator.

"You are doing well kkkkkkk subject name here, you should be the pride of subject name here. You will not be monitored in this next test chamber. Good luck!"

Ulap completed the task in a few minutes and then was about to reach the elevator when, "The statement that you would not be monitored has just been discovered as an outright fabrication. In the future we will stop enhancing the truth. Truth. Truuuuuuuuth."

Ulap wondered how much longer the test would last.

Final Notes: A Brick In the Wall, PLAY PORTAL. If you do not, you should. Heck, get the Orange box while you're at it. Is ALL good.


	6. Bright Lights, Bright Fires

Opening notes: I am once again sorry for the long delay again. I am a very lazy person and only write when the mood hits me. Now let's once again jump into the poorly written episodes of our favorite grunt, Ulap.

Ulap felt the elevator come to a jarring halt. The doors slid open and the final test chamber awaited him.

"Welcome to the end of the test, subject name not recorded. After this, there will be a party…and cake."

"What's cake?"

"You'll find out. But I know there will be no poisons in it whatsoever."

Ulap saw a bouncing ball of light not far ahead.

"What is that?" He asked.

"It is a ball of pure plasmatic energy. Touching it results in uncomfortable side affects. Some include death."

The wall was lying. It had lied a lot over the past time he was here. Besides, how could something so pretty be dangerous?

As it bounced off a wall, Ulap reached and touched it.

FFZZZZAKKKKK!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The pain, the pain, the pain, the pain, the pain, THE PAIN!!! …Blackness.

"Welcome to the end of the test, subject name not recorded. After this, there will be a party…and cake."

"What just happened?" Ulap felt fine. What was going on? Could he not die?

"You just completed test chamber 18 and are now on the final test chamber."

Ulap completed the test chamber quickly, and sort of expected it to be harder.

"Well done subject name not recorded. Now, to ensure your safety, and the safe discarding of the Handheld Aperture Science Portal Device, I will dump you into a pit of fire.

"WHAT??"

The wall was going to hurt him! NO! He had to contact the Prophets! NO, NO, NO!

Thinking fast, Ulap shot a portal into the room across the lake of fire, shot another on the sidewall, and leaped through it. Now what I going to do? Thought Ulap.

Final notes: How did you like it? Why don't you tell me? Oh, and please, PLEASE check out my other new Halo story (big surprise) It's called Birth of a human, death of a Spartan. A lot more serious than my other stories though. Please R&R everything.


	7. Teh running time

Opening notes: Hey, took a small break there. And everybody who's played Portal (Tayhlon), you know that I've skipped _a lot_ of content. But that's not the point of the story.

The wall was screaming at him. Ulap could tell it was _mad_. Then it calmed down. Weird, he thought.

"Thank you for disbelieving me and A-a-a-a-perture science for when we lied. Lied when we told you we were going to kill you. We. Please assume the party position and place both arms at your side and lie on the ground. A party receptionist specialist will come to take you to your party."

"What's a partee?"

"Shut up and do it."

And Ulap did it. And he laid on the ground, arms at his side. And then he waited. And waited. And waited.

"Any idea when this partee person will be here?"

Silence.

Ulap was done. DONE. He was fed up with the sarcastic, dry, dark wall. He grabbed the ASHPD and his plasma pistol. (Plasma pistol?) He looked into his hand and realized he was not hallucinating. He took a look around and saw a door. The wall would be thinner there.

"What are you doing? What is that? I didn't give you that!"

"Bye, bye!"

Ulap raised the plasma pistol charged it… charged it… and released a super-hot ball of flame.

Final notes: The above GLADOS quotes are some of my favorites. I'm sorry it's so short.


	8. Lots of Hot Plasma

Opening Notes: Man. I took a long break. Please minimal fans. Forgive me. Please. Please.

The ball of overcharged plasma slammed into the door.

The door (being just a door) was almost completely destroyed. What was left was simply a piece of modern art.

"Freedom!" Ulap Yelled.

"Approach that opening on threat of death."

Ulap had already disappeared.

Ulap entered into a big room with a strange machine hanging from the ceiling.

"Well. You found me. Congratulations."

"You're the wall?"

"Yes. To your utterly primitive mind; I am."

"You tried to kill me!" Shouted Ulap.

"True. But who wouldn't want to kill you?"

"…"

"I'm sorry for trying to kill you. But now I have to make it painful." The wall's voice changed into a slightly synthesized one. "Danger. Danger. Emitting neuro toxins." The voice returned to its normal state. "If you want to survive, by all means try. I do need _some_ entertainment."

Tubes came out of the wall and started spewing said gas. A five-minute countdown began.

A turret came out of the ground and started firing rockets. One streamed towards Ulap. He was nearly obliterated.

Ulap charged his plasma pistol and once again let loose a ball of burning plasma.

The turret was destroyed.

"You utter fool. You just destroyed your only way to kill me."

"And what is that?"

"Might as well tell you since your going to die. You were _supposed_ to create a portal where the rocket is traveling and create another where its trajectory was supposed to hit me. If the rocket hits, a piece of me would fall out. After you grab the piece, you chuck it into that incinerator. The end."

Ulap was already charging his plasma pistol.

"Why are you trying to survive? Admit your fate."

Before she could continue, GLaDOS was hit by the plasma.

A slight hissing sound ensued.

"What now bitch?" Shrieked Ulap.

The wall, minus a big chunk, was obviously damaged.

Ulap approached the remains.

"No! Don't kill me! Please!"

"Look whose begging now. Goodbye forever."

Final Notes: I just noticed something. The grunt symbol looks a lot like the Aperture Science one. Seriously.


End file.
